The ultimate Israeli "ars"

A guy buying sushi: "Ani rotze kombinatzia zayin".

{I want the combination #7 - in Hebrew, "zayin" (the letter Z) is the correspondent of no. 7, and in the Hebrew slang "zayin" is nothing but penis}

Dancing Jews

When you feel down, they can make you come up ;-)

I don't love you anymore, Teddy-Bear!

Christmas

In Bucharest people conquest the hypermarkets and spend hours waiting for their turn to pay. Everywhere there are people looking for gifts and buying food for the holiday.

In Tel Aviv I spent almost 20 minutes in front of the fitting rooms in order to try a shirt, which didn't look good on me anyway. People are looking for gifts not for food. Except for "sufganiyot" ...

Frustration

Small room. White walls. Destroyed old doors. A dusty heater. Beyond the door, male voices talking in Arabic. Sound of boiling water in nargila.
And I feel useless. I cannot heal HIM.

Mosque in Akko

Cat in Haifa

Neighbours

Israeli guy: Hello! I am XY and I want to know more about this event …..

Parparush: The event will take place on Thursday, XX of November, at … pm … … …

Israeli guy: When did you came to Israel? … Wow and your Hebrew is so beautiful … Where do you live? In Tel Aviv? Where in Tel Aviv? … Do you like it here? … How long will you be here in Israel? … How old are you? … What is exactly your job here? ….

Parparush: Would you like to give me your email address so that I will send you more details on this issue?

Israeli guy: Personal or official email address?

Parparush: Official.

Israeli guy: Ok, Parparush, here is it.

Parparush: Thank you. … What is this (ending of the address)?

Israeli guy: ….. 11^th floor

Parparush: What 11^th floor?

Israeli guy: Take the elevator for 6 levels and come to have a coffee together.

Parparush: I am afraid of heights.

Israeli guy: I will come down then!

Parparush: Ok, if you come down, then I will not send you the email.

Israeli guy: No, send it. How will I know your email address?

Parparush [shakes hands with him before he leaves]

Israeli guy [holds my hand]: Don't forget: 11^th floor! … Nice meeting you and I would love to have a coffee with you some time.

Parparush [pretending not understanding Hebrew]: Shall I call to offer you a coffee now?

Israeli guy: No no. I must go. Have a nice day! Bye!

Fata moșului și fata babei

How many of us remember the first book borrowed from the school's library?
I do.
It was "Fata moșului și fata babei" (The old man's daughter and the old woman's daughter) by Ion Creangă - a big-size book, thin, lot of pictures, very coloured ...
I can even remember that day - how I went to the library for the first time, the smell of old books and dust, the librarian - a nice young lady - and how happy I was to be finally registred at the library.

How a day of work ends ...

Since early childhood I have been told not to run for two rabbit at the same time.

But this applies for elevators too? Even for 4 elevators?

Imagine you leave your office and you are calling the elevator at your floor. And you wait ... you wait ... you hear colleagues from the building getting impatient ... in a few seconds we see them running down the stairs cursing the damn elevators ... 4 elevators and none of them stops at any floor ...but you try over and over again pushing the button ... and you wait ... and you don't feel like rolling down the stairs, you're just too tired ... and when you hear suddenly the beep of one of the elevators, you run faster and faster to catch it ... you think that you are lucky ... you think it's a miracle ... finally, you are in front of the open doors and you want to jump inside ... but hey there are way to many people inside ... crowded ... the smell of another tired people at the end of the day it's too much to bear ... and you quit ... you go back to the spot in the middle of the corridor ... no air conditioned ... you breathe hot air ... you feel helpless ... and then you feel you are happy again ... another elevator stops ... again you run ... but again other people all crowded inside and you don't feel like sharing the place with them ... and again you return to your place and wait for another elevator ... and when you think you should roll down the stairs, here comes the third elevator ... EMPTY!

The new Orbit Professional

picture one: "Every thing has two sides"
picture two: "Orbit Professional in a new package which can be opened from both sides; cleans the teeth in such a manner than you can really feel it!"

Guess how much I love you ;-)

I grew up with stories like The Red Ridding Hood, The Sleeping Beauty or Snow-White ... and, of course, Romanian stories.

Have you ever thought what stories do children read nowadays? I took a peak at the shelf with children's books and I have discovered a very beautiful book called "Guess how much I love you" by Sam McBratney and illustrated by Anita Jeram. And this tiny book has brought me more happiness than the other two books of short stories by Etgar Keret which I bought today.

So, guess how much I love you ...

Be'er Sheva

Israeli point of view

Tired

When I am tired, I make salad with cinamon istead of cumin.
When SHE is tired, she makes coffee with 19 l of water ...

Sayed Kashua "Dancing Arabs"

In the twelfth grade I understood for the first time what '48 was. That it's called the War of Independence. In twelfth grade I understood that a Zionist was what we called a Sahyuni, and it wasn't a swearword. I knew the word. That's how we used to curse one another. I'd been sure that Sahyuni was a kind of fat guy, like a bear. Suddenly I understood that Zionism is an ideology. In civics lessons and Jewish history classes, I started to understand that my aunt from Tulkarm is called a refugee, that the Arabs in Israel are called a minority. In twelfth grade I understood that the problem was serious. I understood what a national homeland was, what anti-Semitism was. I heard for the first time about "two thousand years of exile" and how the Jews had fought against the Arabs and the British. I didn’t believe it. No way. The English had wanted the Jews here, after all. In Bible class, I discovered that it was Isaac, not Ismael, who'd been replaced with a sheep.

Kashua, Sayed (2004): Dancing Arabs, translated from the Hebrew by Miriam Shlesinger, New York, Grove Press, pg. 117

Sand of Caesaria

Caesaria rocks

Old City of Caesaria

Israeli coffee

Drinking coffee in Israel is quite an adventure. Watch out - what you want is not what you get!

Survival guide:

• cappuccino - "kafe hafuch" or "twisted coffee", what they mean is an ordinary coffee with milk; until yet I haven't discovered the real cappuccino;
  
• caffe frappe - here they call it simply "ice coffee" and they have some amazing combinations;
• caffe latte - and they mean "coffee with milk" but not the above mentioned one :-/
• black coffee - don't expect a coffee without sugar because you're wrong; they mean coffee with sugar but with no milk, that's why it's black isn't it!?

And if you still have doubts about coffee in Israel, look at the picture and try to guess what I have ordered. Oh, and I have received a fork and a knife too!